Bad things do happen; how I respond to them defines my character and the quality of my life. I can choose to sit in perpetual sadness, immobilized by the gravity of my loss, or I can choose to rise from the pain and treasure the most precious gift I have -life itself.
– Walter Anderson
Again, I take the pieces and attempt to align them, make them fit. I am on a journey that continues to shift, shock, pleasantly surprise, and, at times, disappoint. I struggle with understanding that the actions I make determine the course of my path. I fight to come to terms with the choice in my reactions, in my feelings, and in my state of being. I am uncertain and confused, and yet, I suffer the most from this inconsistent faith and motivation.
I have begun to choose to see only today. The questions of my future that I often pondered with hesitation at the choices of my now have brought me to this place of incapability at meeting the answers. I have once again found myself in the same cycle. I can only see today in a decision to break the cycle of insanity.
Today, with hope for just today, I will focus on the now. I am filled with fear that bubbles for the future, but I choose to let the fear take presence amongst the hope of the actions in this very moment. I will not drown for now. Today, I will spend in today, until tomorrow.