Holy Now

Bad things do happen; how I respond to them defines my character and the quality of my life. I can choose to sit in perpetual sadness, immobilized by the gravity of my loss, or I can choose to rise from the pain and treasure the most precious gift I have -life itself.

– Walter Anderson

Again, I take the pieces and attempt to align them, make them fit. I am on a journey that continues to shift, shock, pleasantly surprise, and, at times, disappoint. I struggle with understanding that the actions I make determine the course of my path. I fight to come to terms with the choice in my reactions, in my feelings, and in my state of being. I am uncertain and confused, and yet, I suffer the most from this inconsistent faith and motivation.

I have begun to choose to see only today. The questions of my future that I often pondered with hesitation at the choices of my now have brought me to this place of incapability at meeting the answers. I have once again found myself in the same cycle. I can only see today in a decision to break the cycle of insanity.

Today, with hope for just today, I will focus on the now. I am filled with fear that bubbles for the future, but I choose to let the fear take presence amongst the hope of the actions in this very moment. I will not drown for now. Today, I will spend in today, until tomorrow.



2 Replies to “Holy Now”

  1. Double
    My dad always told me life is 10 % what happens and 90% how you react to it.. Sounds like you had a dad Mangano moment. enjoy the holiday season. Chaperoning the France trip with Hawkins/Fritz can’t wait!!!

  2. No one ever became a great writer without suffering!!
    But you’ve probably done enough of that now, so start writing your masterpiece.

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