A Word from 2017

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It’s been a while. It’s been long enough for me to briefly lose ownership of this website because I forgot to renew it and to not even realize. It’s been one summer semester and two school semesters. It’s been family vacations, holidays, explorations, new jobs, new friends, old friends, and a ton of other adventures and experiences.

I think I stopped writing because I didn’t have anything to say. Then, I had too much to say. Next, I wasn’t sure what I wanted to say. And then, I wasn’t sure what I needed to say. Now, I don’t have anything I need to say, I have a lot I want to say, and I know I probably could say nothing at all, or say too much all at once.

Here’s what I will say:

The past year has been everything I needed and nothing I expected. I always hoped to find purpose and meaning. I always hoped to stay in my life long enough to find that. I always hoped life would be the answer, if I could just live long enough. This year, I did.

A few days ago, I wrote for someone about my search for meaning and realized that there are a lot of things I’ve learned that might be valuable to someone else and worthwhile to offer to a greater audience.

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The Millennial Dollar Question

We live in an intense world. News is constantly flooded with stories that once would have been shocking, yet the shock-factor has gone down with the frequency at which shocking things have occurred. Confessedly, I’ve stopped reading much of the news. It’s not that I don’t care, nor that I think all of what’s happening doesn’t matter, it’s just, I’m not sure what I can do about it. All I know is the effects reading about the latest attack has on me and I want to protect myself

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Today, I read this story on the Washington Post about what it’s like to be Generation Z. The story largely focused on the technological aspect of today’s world and what it’s like to live behind a screen where social media and other cyber-outlets can distort reality in an image-oriented and somewhat superficial society. Yet, immediately prior to reading this, I caught headlines about another fatal shooting with numerous postings on #blacklivesmatter.

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Listening to Fifth Harmony

It’s been a little over three months since I last blogged, but it feels like a lifetime. I think I needed space from the inner dialogue that narrated my actions and this account. What was right and what was wrong began to be diluted by my ego, and my soul had been shut down by the busy-ness of my days.

Over these past three months, I have slowed down quite a bit.

After my appendectomy in March, I flew to Tanzania where I worked with orphans alongside my father’s team of doctors, nurses, and other medical professionals on their medical mission (see what we did by watching this video). It was the first time I lost access to technology and artificial stimulation since I had been in treatment and I began to see the drastic difference between that and my life at BC. Somewhere in the middle was where I wanted to be. Once I returned from Tanzania, I had to make a series of choices to regain the stability and peace I had lost in the chaos of my daily life. Some of those decisions were harder than others and with each thing I gained, there were things I had to lose.

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Despite the losses of my journey, these past three months have given me back a consciousness to which I can listen. I still have to sort through which thoughts I want to act upon, but I am able to hear with a clarity that I had somewhat previously lost.

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Apples to Appys

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On Sunday, I woke up in pain. On Monday, I woke up without an appendix.

There’s this weird thing that happens when you’re going too fast in life, where life forces you to slow down. I’ve found this to be true on several occasions, but my recent stint at the hospital and the lagging recovery has reminded me of this way the universe seems to work.

This semester has been hard for me thus far. It has also been great. I’ve been trying to strike a balance between engaging in all the things in my life that keep me motivated while also making sure they don’t deplete me. It’s been new and challenging. I’ve had to reorganize myself and walk the learning curve that comes with my new position on the newspaper while still fully participating in my recovery, my self-care, and my life, otherwise.

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