Mornings are probably the most difficult part of my days. Starting off right is hardly ever easy, especially when a part of me would rather spend the beginning, middle, and end right where I lie when I awake. Though parting with my pillow is a hard job, it is so important and totally impacts the way I view my entire life when I return to it at night.
With that in mind, I dragged myself out of bed this morning for an Easter egg hunt, for I am now a self-proclaimed “Morning Person”… for whatever that’s worth. Sleep felt so good and holidays can be tricky so far away from what has been home while entering recovery; escape from memories and any nostalgia seemed much more taunting today. Being a morning person, I led with a yes and chose to find my inner child while searching for the brightly-colored eggs hidden throughout our lawn. Humoring friends in the activity, I uncovered pure joy in the competition of the event and an energy far surpassing any caffeine boost I would have previously sought to get me through the day.
Opening each egg and engaging in a new tradition, I was touched to discover affirmations in the eggs, along with the necessary jelly beans. With a desire to spread the holiday sentiments, my friends and I decided to share the love. We got dressed and headed out for a morning hike to the filming site of MASH. We packed a portion of the Easter eggs, and dispersed them along the trail.
Weekend hikes have become something I thoroughly look forward to. Being strong enough to carry myself for a thirty-minute walk, never mind a trek through the mountains, has helped exponentially in the acceptance and admiration of my body. As a person who struggles, at times, to connect to my experiences and self, I cherish the moments where life enables me to do so effortlessly. As we climbed the mountains and reached the peaks, I was astounded at how lucky I was to be surrounded by such incredibly determined women on a beautiful morning, with an ability to be a part of and notice these moments. Expanding positive feelings to anyone who came across our eggs was really just an added bonus.
In retrospect, today I am grateful for the opportunity to be. I am grateful for the people in my life who hide the eggs for me, and I am grateful to hide them for any stranger who might need a reminder that they are valued. I am grateful for any mountain in my life, and I am grateful for the chance to climb it. I am grateful for jelly beans, and I am grateful for the smiles they bring, and I am grateful that they bring smiles. Today, I am grateful for today. But, most of all, I am grateful that I started today.